What can I do now that I've realized I will always loathe myself (even if I were to pursure therapy)?

I will advise a different type of therapy. I have worked with and helped clients with very similar thoughts and feelings. And I don't believe in coddling. All that does is make matters worse. The therapy I would advise is Hypnotherapy. A good Hypnotherapist would be able to work with you to find where the feelings come from and why. Then they would help you change them for yourself. No one can do it for you so don't misunderstand what I am saying. A good Hypnotherapist can help you help yourself. Most Therapist will feed you the same BS you have already mentioned. If you want to have a chance at a happy life, seek a good Hypnotherapist and make your life happy. You can't change the past or what has already happened to you but you can change what happens from now on. Good luck and I hope you get help for this and make your life happy.