How do people do this every month :/?

Me and my partner having been trying for a baby for the past few month i now dread the time im due on i have no idea how people keep going through this. Again its that time of month for me i am 2 days late i no i could do a test but no sure if i want to as i no it means potentially seeing the disappointment again. On fri and sat night i had some slight spotting immediately after sex but no sigh of a period yet. Could this be a sigh i am pregnant and its just bits of blood where the cervix hasn't thickened enough yet or am i just clutching at straws?